GLOBAL DIPLOMACY / Another success of Albania: Now the whole world knows that Rama is tall

NEW YORK - What many years ago was met with skepticism within the Socialist Party, the first governing cabinet and even among the closest associates of Prime Minister Edi Rama, has now been successfully completed: The entire globe has learned from official sources of undeniable, that Edi Rama is tall.

The solemn announcement was made by the author of this great achievement for the Albanian nation, Prime Minister Rama, in the middle of the United Nations headquarters in New York, thus marking the opening of a new era of progress and progress for Albania, after the success of the tourist season of summer 2023.

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I am very tall, but still I am small in front of the many problems of the globe, said Rama modestly in front of the global leaders, " therefore I ask for your cooperation to solve them" . In the following, the Albanian Prime Minister suggested to the nervous heads of state of the 197 UN members that it would be good to accept cooperation, " otherwise, you will suffer like some of my former colleagues the edepsyza that Interpol is now asking for". . 

This declaration was the triumphant climax of a long journey of Edi Rama in declaring his height. His biographers note that Rama's height as a diplomatic weapon and as a weapon under his sleeve in every family and social debate, began to be used in small childish quarrels with his brother. Although both were involved in basketball, it was Eddie who dominated the older brother, making it clear that he was slightly taller.

Next would come a busy period of political change that found Rama prepared to announce to the social habitat and the entire country that he was tall. Rama's assertion that he was not accepted at the beginning of the 90s in the Democratic Party is universally known, because Sali Berisha did not want someone taller than him to lead the DP. Also, Edi had often complained during the 90s that even the socialists didn't want him, since the president Fatos Nano had chosen all the pinchos as himself, 1.60 tall with a constant rounding tendency.

It was a moment of sincerity by Nano, who admitted that the SP needed a long-term minister to see further, that introduced Rama into the politics of Tirana. Thus began a career of height statements, which continues successfully to this day.

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Rama did not miss an opportunity without assuring the voters and associates that he was tall, either as Minister of Culture or mayor of Tirana. Meanwhile, in the long years of the political opposition as the head of the SP, he made it clear several times to his colleagues in the Socialist International that they were not dealing with a short leader; on the contrary.

But it would be the beginnings of the mission as prime minister of the Albanian government, those that would mark a quality stage in Rama's long statements. In the historic meeting in Belgrade with the president of Serbia, Aleksandar Vu?i?, Rama told the Serbs that although they had a tall president, he was 1 and a half centimeters taller.

"Here, let's measure. Sandra, put your shoulder a little closer so they can see who is taller!" Rama ordered his colleague, who approached embarrassed, as he knew that he could not succeed his friend.

The solemn proclamations did not stop there. In every meeting of the leaders of the Western Balkans, but also in bilateral meetings, he informed the interlocutors in good faith that he was quite tall.

This is what happened to Chancellor Merkel, Prime Minister Renzi, President Macron, President Trump, etc., etc. The diplomatic weapon that turned the length of a country's head of government into an undisputed success for the country itself was being used to perfection for the first time in modern history.

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However, every advantage has its side effects. The stature of their leader had begun to create inferiority complexes among ordinary voters. From 2016 onwards, a massive wave of exodus of the educated and young Albanian population was observed. Despite the fact that they were officially told all kinds of nonsense - that they were fleeing for a better life in Europe, that the country was in the grip of corruption and business asphyxiation, that crime had entered the parliament and government - the truth was quite different.

After arriving in Germany, France, Britain, etc., the Albanians left openly admitted: We were fine and beautiful in Albania, but we could no longer stay with Rama, the devil is too long!

PS It is learned that the UN Security Council has been put into motion after the determination of Edi Rama's height. Among the sanctions that can be imposed on Albania, special shoes with flat heels are foreseen for Edi Rama, as well as shoes with extra heels for ordinary world leaders.

Note: Patronageist is a medium-sized satirical column