TIRANA - When Edi and Lulin chatted for six hours straight on May 17, 2017 at the head of the Assembly, and finally came out with the agreement for a technical government, all the media used the white smoke metaphor of a successful negotiation. In fact, the most spectacular result of those talks was Gazi i Bardhë, ie the name of the technical minister of Justice, Gaz Bardhi. Luli himself proposed it, and Salihi seconded it.
"His name is synonymous with success, Lulzim," Salihi told his student, "we don't use white smoke, because we are not the Vatican, but White Gas is also very good."
It was a meteoric rise for Gazi. He had worked as a codification specialist at the Ministry of Justice, and for a few months he was the general secretary of Minister Eduard Halimi, the lawyer of Rezart Taç. But these were not the main criteria that brought his name to the table. The major factor was that Gazi i Bardhë was from Kavaja, that is, a genetic democrat.
"Kavaja for PD is like Barcelona for football," Salihi says, " they will take him out because he is not a talent".
Even the world media commented on the unlocking of the Albanian crisis in this way: " White Gas finally emerges from the smoke of the chimney of the Rama-Basha talks", wrote the newspaper New York Times.
Thus began Gazi's lightning career. At first he had the misunderstanding that he had to know for Luli's sake. After all, from the general secretary of a ministry to the general secretary of a party, it was a big step. He stayed with Luli even when America declared Salih a kulak. "Kavaja and America are never broken, " Gazi declared, " then I have historically been a middle peasant, so Salihi must open his arms for the good of the party."
But Luli was not brave like Gazi. When he found out that Gazi was involved in shootings and murders in the elections of Elbasan, Luli started avoiding him. The climax came when he went on vacation in Holland for a couple of weeks and didn't take her with him.
"Whoa, street guy," Gazi said to himself, " half the boys of Kavaja and Elbasan beg me for a vacation, this one is not my wish."
He made the big decision: He had broken up with Salih for nothing, so he sent him a message: "Doctor, I'm sorry. I did not know that Luli had an uncle with Balli. America take the fleas, as long as you have me with you. We will take out the black water from the Parliament".
"Welcome back brave man. Not water, but black smoke I want to come out of the chimney of the parliament, " corrected Salihi smiling, " so that America understands that there is no solution without asking me for forgiveness."
But man cannot act against nature. No matter how much his colleagues suggested what kind of smokers he should buy to smoke black smoke in parliament, Gazi always went for colored smokers. And in every crisis that broke out in the Assembly, he threw smokes with bright colors, cyclamen, orange, violet, canary color, strong green...
"Here, this orange goes with the chairs of the Assembly. Rama will go crazy," Gazi said and then, he threw the smoking firecracker. " Doctor, I have found a gas with the colors of the rainbow, the socialists will be furious ", announced Salihin, and took the photos to uacap.
At first, the Praetorian guard people like Edi Palosja, Nul Moka and others were uncomfortable with Gazi's tastes. But the Doctor made it clear to them:
"We don't mind Mr. Gas White's tastes. As Ten Hsiao Pini said, it doesn't matter what color the cat likes, as long as it catches mice ."
So far, Gazi has not yet caught any rats, although he tries to get close and rub shoulders with the Guardsmen in the parliament clashes, to create incidents.
"You bastard, don't touch me with your hand! Come on, touch me! Here, touch me here on the throat", he provoked some employees this Monday. But they didn't understand exactly, because they were embarrassed, because they were disgusted, they kept their distance. Angry, Gazi set the chairs on fire...
Note: Patronageist is a satirical anti-bullying column