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HURRICANE / The mystery of participation is revealed; all 78 protesters have been promised government positions

2024-02-06 17:49:57Patronazhisti SHKRUAR NGA REDAKSIA VOX
HURRICANE / The mystery of participation is revealed; all 78 protesters have
Muli, Gazi and other protesters directing the hurricane

TIRANA - Smiling, not wanting to know about the cold and friendly with each other, all 78 professional protesters, supporters of the doctor, left the parliament on Monday afternoon - where they caused an opposition hurricane - and gathered below window of the dump on Lirisa Street. Reliable sources for Patronage say that Muli himself, the day before, had re-secured them one by one for the positions they would receive in the future democratic government.

"Just make sure you don't talk about it with anyone," Muli said to each of the participants in the protest.

As Patronazhisti learns, each of the main ministries has been promised to at least three MPs of the Doctor and Gaz Bardhi, while Gaz himself, together with Oerd Bylykbashi, Albana Vokshi and Petrit Vasil, has been promised the post of prime minister, "because the doctor himself does not fight for mail". For his part, the doctor himself has promised the prime ministership to Muli.

But even more interesting are the promises made to other protesters.

***

Thus, Zija Kollofruthi from Shijak showed in good faith to the Patronage, the contract she signed with Muli to run the customs of Durrës.

"I sell pots and clay pots, horses with Mexican boots and toads in plaster," said Kollofruthi, "so I have knowledge about import-export, goods with and without excise duty. I also told Muli: I will make the Durrës customs cry, I will make him not even a fly. Halal, he told me, even take a family member to the protest".

Robert Çamçakizi from Kruja spoke enthusiastically about the success of the protest.

"America will cancel the non-grata decision for the Doctor," Chamcakizi assured, "my aunt's wife who works at the State Department - delivers pizza to the cleaners on the first floor - assured me that as soon as Trump wins, she will invite him herself the doctor in the White House".

For this help, Berti claimed that he simply asked the Directorate of License Plates in Tirana. " I have no claims, I simply want to participate in the structural reforms of the state that Zeni and Argita have prepared, " added Çamçakizi modestly.

***

For Nush Kacabun from Bërdica e Shkodra, the municipality of Shkodra is the least position he deserves. " I regularly came to every protest ," says Nushi, "even the first three or four nights I was depressed because I wasn't seeing anyone under the window of the doctor's dump. I asked Muli on the phone, where did you get the pharaoh? I'm eating something, he said, and we're coming to protest together."

Separately, they claimed that Taf Çuçurrushi, Bardh Rrapatushi and Kiço Belaja from Libohova would also take the Shkodra municipality. The latter said that he lived in Shkodër for six months and is convinced that he knows the roots of the problems of the city and its surroundings.

Meanwhile, a 78-year-old man sat at the end of the 78-year-old crowd and silently applauded all the speakers.

"I can't shout because I'm deaf," barely whispered Bektash Kellira from Skrapari to Patronajist, "but I believe that my sacrifice is worth it for the general director of taxes. I worked as a regular in a vanguard brigade in Poliçan, I also spent five years in prison for smuggling, and I know my way around trade. Muli also guaranteed me, we cannot find a better director than you, he said: Mature, serious, experienced...".

***

Among the protesters, however, there is a cloud of ambiguity, which keeps on increasing, especially when Muli assured all those present on the megaphone, that the protesters will increase, and in the following days they will gather in thousands.

"We don't need hundreds or thousands," remarked worried Vasil Kaplloqja from Korça, " it's better that we are, a little accurate." The state has so many jobs. We're not all going to be directors, bro!"  

Note: Patronageist is a pro-opposition, anti-masochist satirical column


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