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Three tips to help you get over a failed relationship

2022-09-13 00:20:56Lifestyle SHKRUAR NGA REDAKSIA VOX
Three tips to help you get over a failed relationship
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Many people go to a psychologist after being hurt by a relationship that did not end well.

They may say things like "I wish I could go back in time so things were different" or "I don't know how I'll be able to live without him."

But the truth is that we all have an incredible ability to bounce back from even the toughest breakups. Here are three techniques you can use to get out of a failed relationship

"Failure relationship", misnomer

The term "failed relationship" is a misnomer. Sure, relationships may not work out the way we hoped, but that doesn't make them "failed."

Unfortunately, our brains have a tendency to categorize people, events and things into concrete, black and white categories.

In the case of a 'failed relationship', it is important to remember that there are always more nuances to the situation than your brain likes to admit. Failed relationships often have their mini-successes. Maybe you learned something about yourself that you didn't know before the relationship. Maybe you started a new activity, hobby or routine because of the relationship.

Maybe you saw a new part of the world or discovered a new habit. Maybe you have better ideas of how you want to look in your next relationship.

Do your best to avoid such biases, such as saying “X” was a success or “Y” was a failure.

Instead, accept the nuances that can be found in past relationships and learn from each experience, the good and the bad.

Use past relationships as a catalyst for change

If you're having trouble finding the motivation to get back on your feet after a breakup, therapy can help.

Often, what a mental health professional will help you realize is that you blame yourself for the course of things that led to the breakup.

You may underestimate how many of the things that happen in life are out of your control.

This way of thinking can cause problems in other areas as well, such as parenting or professional career.

We must remind ourselves that we cannot control the future.

We cannot control the choices other people make.

What we can control are our thoughts, emotions, actions and behaviors.

The better we manage to steer our "ship", the less we are affected by things that are out of our control.

Don't give the romance more than it deserves

When we talk about 'failed relationships', it doesn't have to mean a failed romance.

When we experience a bad breakup, we can find comfort in the relationships we share with family members, friends, and colleagues.

So be careful not to put your love life on such a pedestal that it alienates the relationships you have with other people.

One of the keys to a healthy and long life is to develop and maintain many strong points of social contact.

Value the connections you have with all the people in your life and community. Do your best to help others. The strength we draw from our connections with others is perhaps our most powerful resource and certainly the best antidote to getting through a failed relationship.

Conclusion

People inevitably come and go in the course of our lives.

To respond positively to people leaving your life, do your best to (1) avoid framing them as 'failures', (2) reflect on whatever positives you can take from the experience, and (3) value connections your other social partners and use them as a source of strength.


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