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BUSINESS/ The Executive buys the shares of the Legislative and Judiciary, creating the largest rift in the country

2026-11-13 11:53:44Patronazhisti SHKRUAR NGA REDAKSIA VOX
BUSINESS/ The Executive buys the shares of the Legislative and Judiciary,
CEO I Gjata signing the big merger

TIRANA –  In a bold move that has shocked the business world, it is learned that the well-known company Ekzekutivi, with a capillary reach in the territory and branches and stores in every corner of the country, has purchased the majority of the shares of two other historic Albanian companies, Legislature and Judiciary. Thus, the largest conglomerate in Albania has been formed, more precisely a conglomerate with a portfolio of almost 11 billion euros and a number of almost 100 thousand employees of all ranks. 

Speaking to the media, the CEO of I Gjata i Exekeutiv stated that this move, which he had been working on for a long time, was in fact a merger with benefits for all parties.

"Since I took this position, our business plan has aimed for expansion and synergy, always with the goal of generating revenue for the company, diversifying investment areas, and increasing impact in the community," said I Gjati, spreading a smile on his face like butter on a slice of bread.

Gjati reassured shareholders and investors, clarifying that under the new leadership there will be no staff cuts.

"Employees, from bosses and directors to the jokers and the hyzmeqars, can rest assured that their jobs are secure," said the Tall One, " I only ask for work and discipline, order and peace. Oh, and don't forget: In any case, you will obey the orders of a trusted man of mine."

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Despite their rich history over the past 35 years, it must be acknowledged that the Legislature and the Judiciary have had problems with performance, human resources, and import-export.

Thus, cases have been made public from time to time when the Legislature imported equines and after processing produced greyhounds, or when the judiciary invested in logs and in the end only produced hogs. At some good moment in their lives, both companies dreamed of becoming giants or of securing profits in the range of 200 million, 800 thousand, 700 thousand, 574 thousand euros, but they remained only dreams. In the difficult Albanian market, the Executive was always dominant and efficient: Thanks to modern technologies and balanced nutrition with mathematical methods, goats entered the Executive and pigs and cows came out, Or 1+1 apartments entered and villas in series came out, with a profit margin of 1500%.

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Even the leaders of the merged companies themselves admit that the new conglomerate will take things forward.

“We spent a lot of money, we bred greyhounds and they didn’t sell,” declared the former CEO of Legislature, Piko Meleshi, “now with the Long Chief, the two-year plan will bring us cattle… excuse me, prosperity.” Meleshi explained that none of his staff will be laid off. They will simply be trained in new sectors with expansion prospects, such as making horses with Mexican boots and toads in plaster.

"In the museums of Vienna, these works are bought with gold ," Picua emphasized.

Meanwhile, the Governor of the Bank of Albania, Bejko Sejko, also praised the large merger. According to him: "Indirect data for the second quarter suggest that the pace of economic growth has remained at solid levels. The pace is expected to slow slightly over the next two years, creating premises for a better balance of aggregate demand and supply."           

On this occasion, the governor assured that the weakening of the euro comes only from tourism, while drug money has no role in this matter.

PS After the merger, the only business that will be cut is the Presidencia mini-market located at the presidency.

Note: Patronažisti is an economic-satirical column   


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