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This is the main cause of divorce and it is not about infidelity

2022-05-29 21:29:44Lifestyle SHKRUAR NGA REDAKSIA VOX
This is the main cause of divorce and it is not about infidelity
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Dr. John Gotman is one of the leading scholars in the world of marriage.

He spent four decades studying couples at the Gotman Institute to determine what really causes a rift between two people and how to fix it.

After all this research, Dr. Gotman noticed a clear pattern between couples not staying together, identifying what he says is the number one predictor of divorce. It is about contempt. Many people may have felt this way about their partner.

How does contempt arise?

It is normal to feel angry with your partner or disagree about certain things, but when you reach a level of contempt or disgust towards him, then it becomes unhealthy.

Every couple quarrels, but the difference is how you treat them, whether with kindness or contempt, which can break you in the couple.

Partners who do not resolve these issues well are at greater risk. Imagine talking about a recurring problem, such as a major change in libido. Partners who split tend: they get angry and use what are called "four horsemen of the apocalypse" or negative patterns of communication.

These four models are criticism, contempt, resentment, and defense. This leads to what is called "diffuse physiological arousal" of the body of one or both partners, which releases hormones as the heart beats faster, muscles tense, and the skin becomes hot or sweaty.


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